Have you ever felt that awkwardness of saying something to a group of people and the response is complete silence? Not a word, not a smile, only quiet. Even though the silence may not be long, the waiting for any response drags giving you time to think again about what you have just said. This happened to me after giving a short talk about ‘The Power of Play’ for the Western Cape Department of Health First Thousands Days network meeting. I waited in the silence wondering what I had said that caused such a still response. Could it have been that I ended my talk with the words? “If relationships matter, play is the medium” The First Thousand Days programme is a national initiative promoting the well-being of infants from conception to two years. The three pillars of the programme are Grow, Love and Play. As with so many programmes, the focus is on nutrition and survival as first priorities. Attachment and bonding have been added as part of love. Play sits poorly defined in a space that is not clear, as it is not seen as an equal priority to other more complex and demanding needs. Play is seen to be so simple that everyone must obviously know about it and thus it is not given the attention it deserves. The theme that “Relationships matter” has become key in the First thousand Days campaign and also the recently launched WHO Nurturing Care Framework. My reason for making the simple and yet strong statement “If relationships matter, play is the medium” is that play connects humans. When the group members at the First Thousand Days meeting emerged out of their silence, their first response was, ‘yes!’ Play connects even strangers and diverse people together in a fun and equal way. A story was told about a new group of mothers from different backgrounds who were meeting for the first time. They were standing around uncomfortably looking at each other - until they played a simple game, which was ‘Stand up if your baby has messed all over you’, and ‘Hands up if you are tired from sleep deprivation’ etc. Standing, putting hands up, laughing and recognizing that each had a similar experience immediately connected the group. Then, after my presentation, stories about play and memories of positive play experiences flowed out of the silence, such as cooking with grandmother, playing with sand, clay and water and making things out of scrap. Play forms our experiences and relationships with each other. This forms us into the people we become and the memories that we treasure. Play is the link between the other two themes in the First thousand Days programme, which is Grow and Love. Family meal times can be an important time when stories are shared, jokes are told, tears are shed, and food is enjoyed (if there is food available for which we must always be thankful). We can no longer afford to encourage adequate nutrition or the survival of young children without also promoting development and play. Surviving and thriving in childhood go hand in hand together. Play is not only for children. We all need to play. Play is good for everyone. Adults who are involved in play, such as sport, creative arts, music, and dance, are more likely to be better connected to other people and have a more positive outlook on life. Team building exercises are mostly playful and bring relationships together. There is much to be said about playing with children because of the joy that playfulness gives to adults. Inter-generational play is special. It has contributed towards better and positive aging and well-being in elderly people. Many studies have been done of preschool children playing with the elderly in old age homes with positive results. Play connects adults and children across generations. Play is the starting point of creating an imagination for acting out what children see but also what they cannot see or ‘thinking out of the box’, without fear of making mistakes. This is play. I have a feeling that adults who can imagine and think differently are those who are pushing boundaries and changing society. Think of the Wright brothers for their play that developed over time into aeroplanes. We learn through play. Play is so often underestimated for its role in learning, that we limit play to focus on reaching learning goals. Let us be open to the simplicity of play that helps us to find ourselves and each other, no matter our age and ability.
8 Comments
Tumi Motlana
24/11/2018 06:39:42 am
Jacqui, thank you so much for the work you're doing. I was blessed enough to have my baby Seale going through your therapy. He has grown to be a young independent man, with so much potential. I am looking forward to more interactions through your new blog. Congratulations 🤗
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16/12/2018 07:56:11 am
My response when first reading this blog was "Wow, what a well written article". Now my response to a 2nd reading of it is to appreciate the wisdom of it and to reflect on the catchy title "If relationships matter, play is the medium". The ongoing need for this in our adult years is even more pressing, especially with the weight of responsibility and the stress that accompanies it. Thank you Jacqui for this reminder!
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jacqui
17/12/2018 03:56:56 pm
Thank you Sue. You are so right, we do need to be reminded to play more with others, play is good for relationships and life. Enjoy playing more.
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Nuwagaba Ponsy
16/2/2019 10:32:56 pm
Dear Jacqui, this is great work. At first, when I heard of precious years from you, I couldn't figure out what it was all about. I got the whole picture after perusing through your book "The Precious Years". Indeed, you have put together perfect pieces of work not only for parents and caretakers but for anyone who values the first three precious years of life. Be blessed.
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Jacqui
19/2/2019 02:02:56 pm
Thank you Ponsy, all years are precious but the early years perhaps more so for their foundational value to the child. Relationships and experiences form a child. Enjoy the precious years.
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10/3/2019 10:06:42 pm
Jacqui
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jacqui
11/3/2019 04:21:52 pm
I so understand the pressure for goals and deadlines, which sucks us up so quickly. I am glad that this blog can encourage you to just be in the moment of wonderful play. In the end, what really matters is our relationship with our children. I love your idea that play is a journey, perhaps another blog idea.
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Jacqui couperI have different roles; occupational therapist, mother, wife, friend and sister. I am curious about life and how little children grow to their potential with the support of parents, families and the wider community. Archives
March 2022
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