Gifts vary in shape, size, wrapping and content. This is the delight of gifts, the unexpected surprise. Children with their individual uniqueness are our most valued gifts, an unexpected and unknown that is revealed with time. This mostly cannot be planned or even controlled. I have asked Michelle to join me in sharing our stories about giving and receiving gifts. Michelle writes: As a child, I always made a mental ‘wish list’ of toys and books I would love for a birthday or Christmas gift. My secret hopes were mostly on the most extravagant gifts. When I was 12 years old I lost my heart to a hair styling curling iron and expressed this to my parents on a wish list for Christmas. I would spend hours looking at curling irons in shops, imagining my beautiful bouncing curls. On Christmas day I scanned my pile of presents, my gaze beamed on a curling iron shaped gift with my name. I saved the best for last and ripped open the gift and there was a book of short inspirational stories to ‘warm a teenager’s heart’. My hopes were crushed. The disappointment was tangible and I could hardly look at the book. I somehow managed to thank my parents as they taught me to be grateful and see the intention behind a gift. I pretended to like the book with a poker smile and some comment about reading before bed. Through the years, my wish lists have changed but I still put much thought into the things I hope for. My siblings remind me and I can laugh at my 12 year old disappointed self with curling iron hopes. However, that unexpected book became one of my most treasured possessions. This was the surprise. Two years ago I gave birth to a beautiful baby daughter. Six weeks after her birth I was told that she had severe brain damage that would make most tasks we take for granted unattainable for her. In the moment I felt many emotions. I was crushed and disappointed that the gift I had imagined receiving would never be. I felt the same pang of guilt and sadness grip my heart as I wished for some way to fix my ‘gift’. Just as my 12 year old heart had managed to accept the book for Christmas, I was thrust onto a very slow journey to understanding the gift of my daughter. Perhaps like the book, time together, reading the story, loving and honestly appreciating my daughter’s being and presence will make this another most treasured gift. Jacqui writes: Travelling by plane for me comes with some sense of anticipated anxiety. The last time I flew I nearly missed my plane, and last weekend I had a mishap with my luggage. The pottery bowls I had made and carefully packed for my hosts broke. I was so sad and had no other gift for them, just myself and a few broken bowls that could become the next upcycling project. However this experience made me aware of my intentions in giving, to show fondness and appreciation of my hosts. I felt the vulnerability of showing my broken bowls to my hosts realising that the gifts we give to others comes with some fragility. A gift that is given might be used or not, exchanged for something better or enjoyed and appreciated. There is no knowing how a gift will be received and used. I am sure that there is no perfect gift nor intention in giving and receiving. We just do our best and hope that this is good enough. I have a feeling though that the value of our gifts is not so much in what is seen, such as the curling iron, book, broken bowls or child, but in the unseen, unknown and unexpected. This could be in the joy a child brings, the love expressed in a handmade bowl, the long term view of inspirational stories and the journeys of growth and love through giving and receiving. Each child is a gift, with a particular story, genetic material and experience of life. Each child has their own gifts and also imperfections, some obvious and seen as in a physical condition or delayed developmental milestones, others not seen as in emotional struggles. There is no knowing how a child’s life will unfold, but with time together, sharing love and life experiences, we find the treasure in each child. At this Christmas time of giving and receiving gifts, let us be open to the unexpected surprises and unknowns in each gift, including our children. Being open may not always follow the hopes of our imagination but there is greater value in learning to appreciate the surprise and unexpected gift in each child. Each and every child, no matter the wrapping or contents is our most treasured gift.
9 Comments
Lindie
12/12/2018 07:55:03 am
Wow such a beautiful blog. One can choose to endure your children or enjoy them. They are all unique in their one way. No matter the packaging.
Reply
jacqui
17/12/2018 04:01:27 pm
i am glad that you enjoyed this blog and make such wise reflections. We can choose and learn to accept our children, no matter the package.
Reply
12/12/2018 11:35:24 am
What a beautiful reminder to see the gifts even in our disappointments and difficulties.
Reply
Jacqui
17/12/2018 04:03:31 pm
So true Sue
Reply
Taryn du Toit
13/12/2018 09:35:59 am
Beautiful blog and so true, each child is a unique gift to enjoy and discover more about over time. It's the gift that keeps on giving!
Reply
Jacqui
17/12/2018 04:05:36 pm
I like your idea, the ongoing gift of children over time.
Reply
Kobus
2/1/2019 11:31:20 am
Your blog made me think how love (=acceptance and appreciation for the gift) for our kids is both a standard and an aspiration. A 'standard' as in the world's hope that it signifies the greatest level of commitment known to mankind, as even expressed by God. "See what great love the Father has shown us, that we are called children of God" (1 Joh 3)- implies that God reckons the highest expression of his love is for us to be called "child". Yet, this is so fragile. The world is so full of brokenness when it comes to this sacred relationship. So many "children" are not seen as precious gifts. Ascribing worth to the child makes us see how precious the gift is.
Reply
Jacqui
3/1/2019 08:44:41 pm
I like you reflections Kobus and thank you for taking the time to give feedback. The expression of love and acceptance of children is indeed both precious and fragile. This hopefully will encourage us to be more mindful of how we behave towards children, as they learn about their value through our intentions.
Reply
Leave a Reply. |
Jacqui couperI have different roles; occupational therapist, mother, wife, friend and sister. I am curious about life and how little children grow to their potential with the support of parents, families and the wider community. Archives
March 2022
Categories |